


In Another Kinder World

by 1bluebird2crows



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Gets A Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Possible Cameos by EpicSMP, The Eggpire are Door to Door Evangelists Change My Mind, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29957370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1bluebird2crows/pseuds/1bluebird2crows
Summary: A re-imagining of the DSMP into universes in which everyone doesn't suck, plot holes remain unfilled, and Drista forks canon!Dream's eyes. Mostly oneshots.“There weren’t any forks at your bakery,” says the stranger in lieu of a greeting, “Actually, there wasn’t a bakery. There’s a hole in the ground and a lot of creepy red plants.”“Who-”“I’m Drista, and uh, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	1. Summon a Guardian

**Author's Note:**

> In which Drista is a fork-wielding guardian deity.

1\. Tubbo

They don’t expect it to work. 

‘They’ are Tubbo, Sapnap, and Fundy; and ‘it’ is the summoning ritual. 

They’re desperate, though, because they are hurt, their friends feel helpless, and Tommy-

_Loud, strong, endearing little shit who now wakes up at four in the morning screaming and gasping, “stop it stop it stop it stop stop stop”-_

Tommy’s been hurt bad. Really bad.

Tubbo wants to punch Dream for killing his best friend, wants to punch Sam for letting Tommy stay with Dream, but mostly he wants to punch himself for not being there.

But Dream’s already in prison, Sam was doing his job as a warden, and Tubbo had no way of knowing until it was too late. Tubbo is president. Tubbo is powerless.

Then, when Sapnap finds an old book that miraculously survived in the ruins of the community house, Tubbo jumps at the chance to summon an interdimensional guardian deity. 

Tubbo doesn’t know what to expect from the summoning, but this, this is not it.

A willowy figure stands proudly in the center of their painstakingly drawn chalk sigil. She dons no armor, lacks muscle, and bears a striking resemblance to Dream down to the green hoodie and smiley mask. 

She also looks young. Younger than Tommy, even.

“Oh my god,” mutters Fundy, “We summoned a child. Fuck.”

The guardian spirit turns towards the group and grins. 

“Realm-traveling guardian deity and undisputed Alpha Male, at your service,” she states with a flourish, “But call me Drista. How may I be of help?”

Tubbo squares his shoulders and takes the help offered.

This time, he’ll protect Tommy.

Later:

“You didn’t happen to summon me with my guardian weapon, did you?”

“Your _what?_ ”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

  
  


2\. Fundy

They did not expect a child.

Or at least Fundy wasn’t expecting a child, but the others look just as surprised, so he figures no one saw the child (Drista, he reminds himself, her name is Drista) coming. 

“You sure this is a guardian spirit?” wonders Fundy.

The child sticks their tongue out at him and Sapnap shrugs. Fundy doubts a little, but decides to drop the topic.

This Drista, though, is something else. 

That ‘something else’ is violence. 

This becomes apparent when they run into Quackity and Drista shrieks, “DRUG MAN!” before promptly charging at him with an axe. Apparently, they’ve met before. She calms down three swings in and asks him how he’s doing. 

“You tried to kill me!” Quackity squawks.

“Not this time,” Drista replies, “I’ve got a job. Business before pleasure and all that.”

Later, when Drista declares that she left her ‘ultimate weapon’ at home and needed to mine some iron to recreate it, Fundy is sent to babysit her.

This time, they stumble into a spawner and spiders. Too many spiders, and Fundy’s left ‘Shclatt’ at home, so all he has is a stone pickaxe and a magic murder child. Alright, he thinks, we’re fucked.

Drista doesn’t share the same sentiments and proves this by running straight into the horde of spiders, slashing and stabbing. When the fight is over and the spawner is reduced to a heap of wires scattered on the floor, Fundy is willing to admit that Drista lives up to her guardian title. 

“How’s that for a guardian?” Drista crows.

“Not bad,” says Fundy, bending down to tousle her hair, “You did good, kid.”

Drista beams.

  
  


3\. Sapnap 

They do not expect Drista to look so much like Dream.

It affects Sapnap a little more than the others, because he knew Dream better and some part of him still misses Dream. Not the diabolical child-manipulator Dream, but the Dream that had been his friend. 

He reminds himself that Dream and Drista are different people, that Drista is blunt where Dream had been cunning, but it’s hard in the same way Dream and DreamXD overlap in his mind.

“You’re avoiding me. Why?”

Different voices, too, Sapnap notes.

“I’m not,” he mumbles, unsure of himself. Has he been avoiding her?

“Yeah. You are.”

Drista (not Dream, he reminds himself) doesn’t seem bothered, though. 

“I need your help with something,” she admits after a pause. 

“With what?”

Drista (he almost thinks of her as Dream again) places a crafting table on the floor. 

“This is a Fundy thing,” says Sapnap, “I’m not the crafting kind of guy.”

“It’s not complicated. It’s just a - well - promise not to laugh.”

“Uh-huh.”

“ _Promise!_ ”

“Okay, geez, I get it, man. Cross my heart.”

Drista (no, not him, not Dre-) exhales and mutters something unintelligible.

“A what, now?” asks Sapnap.

Dre-, no, Drista crimsons and suddenly, Sapnap sees Dream going red after he falls over in the middle of a stunt or loses a manhunt. Sapnap spirals. He’s seeing Dream again and Sapnap wants to cry because he doesn’t know if Dream is a monster or a friend or-

“A _fork_. My guardian weapon is a fork and even I think it’s pretty lame, but I didn’t get to choose it or else I would have picked a trident or something and yeah.”

This is not Dream. This is Drista and Drista apparently needs a fork. 

Sapnap can hold himself together. Enough to help out this kid, at least. 

“I don’t know how to craft a fork, either-” he admits.

Drista visibly deflates.

“-But I do know who has a couple.”

When he drops Drista off at L’manberg, he turns around to wave goodbye. Drista waves back.

Yeah, Sapnap can do this. Not now, maybe, but eventually. Sapnap will be fine.

  
  


4\. Niki

They do not expect Niki to fall apart like this.

Few people do, and when Niki unravels at the seams, she does it where no one but Puffy sees. When Niki unravels, she closes the shop, yanks the curtains over the windows, and screams at the world until she’s hoarse until she can go back to being everyone’s gentle Niki again. Puffy is concerned, says it’s not healthy, but Puffy is the only one who knows. Niki knows who she is supposed to be.

Niki is kind. Niki is thoughtful. Niki is sweetbreads and wildflowers, and sugar cubes in tea.

_Niki is tired_. 

It gets too much, sometimes. All the anger and frustration overflow until Niki isn’t the sugar-sweet person everyone seems to expect. She’s human too. Don’t they know that? Don’t they know that Niki is just as bone-achingly tired as everyone else?

Puffy is usually here, on days like these, but she’s been with Tommy for the better part of the week. 

Tommy.

At some point Niki had wanted him dead. Now, she’s not so sure. He brought chaos and ruin and pain to her home. He brought smiles. He doesn’t smile so much anymore and the not-perfect Niki, the hurting Niki who no one really knows, sees a kindred spirit. They are similar in the way they have been broken down and wear their vulnerable happiness like a snail wears a fragile shell.

Something knocks against the door and Nikki shouts that they’re closed before she remembers that she’s not at the bakery. She’s camped outside Snowchester and her bakery is a blown-apart foundation in the twisted remains of L’manberg.

She decides she must be imagining the sound. It wouldn’t surprise her. Niki feels like she’s losing her mind a lot lately.

Then the wall of her temporary home is punched through because apparently the knocking is real and so is the freezing child clambering through the hole and into Niki’s shack. 

“There weren’t any forks at your bakery,” says the stranger in lieu of a greeting, “Actually, there wasn’t a bakery. There’s a hole in the ground and a lot of creepy red plants.”

“Who-”

“I’m Drista, and uh, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Niki is not okay. Niki is supposed to be okay. Niki doesn’t know anymore.

The stranger rummages through their pockets and shoves a warped strip of metal into Niki’s hands. It vaguely resembles a dinosaur.

“It’s a daisy,” explains the stranger, “Well, actually, it was supposed to be a fork, but I messed up a bit. A lot. I messed up a lot and it looks _nothing_ like a fork.”

“Daisies mean happiness,” Niki sighs, mostly to herself.

And maybe it’s the crying or traveling or battling herself. Maybe it’s the stuffiness of the shack and the fact that Niki’s been so stressed that she’s missed the last two meals. Maybe Niki just wants to let go.

Either way, she passes out and wakes up alone to one set of cutlery gone and a shulker box filled with flowers Niki knows don’t bloom this far up north. 

  
  


5\. Sam

They do not expect a child to break into Pandora’s Box.

Neither the Warden nor Punz is exactly surprised when they learn that it’s Drista who has done so. They’ve met her before. Breaking into a maximum security prison is not difficult for a deity with access to Creative Mode.

She’s flown halfway across the lava pool when the Warden and Punz catch up. 

“You can’t stop me. I’m not letting him out, though. Relax.”

The Warden does not relax. She might be a friend of Tommy’s when she visited, but a wild card is a wild card. Drista is dangerous. Drista is a child. Tommy was a child too.

The Warden doesn’t realize that he’s hissing until Punz squeezes his arm in reassurance. 

“Since we’re already breaking protocol left and right, how about I go in and supervise?” Punz suggests, before adding as an afterthought, “Free of charge.”

And the Warden knows that Drista is strong enough to take care of herself, that she is breaking the rules, and that Drista herself is a threat to security. The Warden is duty first and sentiment later.

The Warden killed Tommy.

Not directly. 

But the Warden ignored Tommy’s pleas for help, left Tommy with his abuser, and condemned him to death.

In the end, it was Sam who carried Tommy’s body out of the blood-spattered cell and grieved. It was Sam, who regretted, who still regrets. Sam won’t let another child into the monster’s den alone ever again; interdimensional guardian deity or not.

“Go ahead,” Sam tells Punz, “Fifteen minutes. Then the Warden returns.”

Punz nods and steps onto the platform. 

For fifteen minutes he is Sam and he is terrified.

  
  


6\. Punz

They do not expect Dream to be afraid when Drista steps into Dream’s cell. 

It’s apparent in the way he flinches when he sees her. The way he drops his puppeteering act.

In the glow of the lava, Drista looks worn away beyond her years. Punz leans against the wall, monitoring both inmate and guardian from a distance.

Dream, on the other hand, tenses and his gaze darts between Drista and Punz like a cornered animal.

“You’re not my brother,” she finally states.

“You’re not my Clay. Maybe you were once and maybe you never were,” she continues.

Dream snarls in response, “You can’t kill me.” He doesn’t deny that they are not family. That’s alright. Drista has traveled hundreds of worlds. She does not have a brother in many.

Drista shrugs.

“I didn’t come here for that.”

Dream backs away from Drista, terror clear in the way he positions himself to strike like a cornered dog. Punz steps forward, but Drista motions him to stand down.

“The deal is that I would protect Tommy from nightmares. The price Tubbo offered is your sight,” Drista continues as she draws her fork. The fork glows a sickly green as Drista swings it in an arc right into Dream’s eyes. 

It’s over in a second, but Drista’s hands are shaking long after they exit the cell where Dream claws at where his eyes had been.

“Tell me about the Dream from your world,” begins Punz, who knows the numbness that comes with delivering pain for a price. The paths of mercenary and guardian are strangely parallel.

Drista cracks a grin.

“A total dork,” she says. And Drista rambles on about family while Punz listens even as she presses the flat of the fork to Tommy’s forehead until the fork glimmers with an emerald glow and dissipates. 

Drista’s job is done. She has been paid and has no reason to stay, so she waves goodbye and disappears in a flash of light. She leaves him a couple blocks of obsidian and a netherite sword. Punz takes it not as payment, but as a gift. 

7\. Tommy

Tommy doesn’t expect much from his dreams. Dying, mostly, and a lot of fear. He prefers not to think about it. Tubbo seems to notice the nightmares, but hasn’t pushed Tommy to talk about them. Good. The last thing Tommy wants is pity.

This dream is different, though.

He is not in Pandora’s Box for starters, and there’s no Dream bashing his head in with a raw potato. 

Instead, he finds Drista perched on a tree. Tommy hasn’t dreamt about trees in a while. The peace is nice. 

Drista tosses him a golden apple and says something about Dream’s eyes losing all of their canon lives. Then Tommy wakes up.

Someone’s left a fork under his pillow, which is strange.

And stranger than that, Tommy stops having nightmares every night in general.


	2. The Holy Roman Eggpire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Eggpire are door-to-door evangelists and you can't change my mind.

The doorbell rings twice before Captain Puffy answers the door.

“Hi, I’m BadBoyHalo and I would like to share with you some great news! Do you know where you’re going when you die?”

Puffy slams the door shut.

“This isn’t working, Bad.”

“It’s alright, Skeppy. Give it time.”

\------

“Eggpire study. It’ll be like bible study but better because the Egg is real.”

“No one’s going to come, Bad.”

“Not with that attitude! I believe in the power of free snacks and Ant.”

“Ant?”

“If Ant asked you to do something, could you really put him down like that?”

“Good point.”

\------

“ _ Why would anyone do this? _ ”

Ponk shakes his head and tries to console Bad by patting his back.

Before them stands a large sign that’s been vandalised to say ‘JOIN THE GEGPIRE’. Someone’s shuffled the letters ‘E’ and ‘G’ on almost all of the Eggpire’s signs, actually, but Bad doesn’t need to know that.

“It’s not easy doing the Egg’s work,” says Ponk. 

\------

“I don’t know,” Techno grumbles, “Your Egg cult seems like a scam.”

“You  _ heathen _ . How  _ dare _ you disrespect the One True Egg-” gasps Antfrost.

“You’re worshipping a breakfast food. Your religion is an  _ omelette _ .”

Skeppy squawks and tries to attack him. It’s a miracle no one sustains any major injuries.

\------

“Hey, Dad,” greets Sapnap, “I think it’s time I’ve introduced you to my fiances, and we haven’t had lunch together in a while. Are you free on Saturday?”

“Oh, Sapnap, of course I would love to meet your fiances! I support any relationship you have as long as they believe in the Egg and are good Eggpire boys. In fact-”

“Dad, no. Not today,  _ please _ -”

“-Always leave a space for the Egg in your relationships. Love is mortal, but salvation is forever!”

“ _ Oh my god, Dad. Why are you like this? _ ”

\------

This is how Purpled joins the Eggpire:

“Hey there!,”calls out Bad, “Do you believe in the almighty power of the Egg?”

“I believe in money,” Purpled responds.

Bad is silent for a moment before conceding.

“That can also be arranged.”

“You’re just paying people to join your cult? Isn’t that the opposite of what cults normally do?”

Bad shrugs.

“Faith grows from a small seed, Muffinhead.”

Purpled snorts, but keeps any snarky comments to himself. Of course the evil vine cult would support _seed faith._


	3. God is Tall and Sometimes That's a Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a word for the fear of butter but not the fear of stepping on toddlers. I am not impressed.

There is one thing Foolish fears. 

One thing.

See, Foolish is big and everyone else is small. This makes day-to-day activities extremely difficult because most buildings aren’t designed with twenty-three foot tall gods in mind. This also makes the people Foolish cares about constantly at risk of being squished if he’s not careful.

Take this morning for example.

Foolish wakes up, still half asleep, and stumbles into the kitchen to fix breakfast. He makes an entire cauldron of coffee for himself and two slices of toast for Foolish Jr. Then, he almost squashes Puffy.

He almost squashes  _ his mother.  _ What kind of son almost squashes their  _ mother? _

To her credit, Puffy is neither surprised nor upset with her brush with death. She shrugs it off and offers to make eggs for Foolish’s growing boy. To be fair, Foolish Jr doesn’t actually have to eat, but the sentiment is nice. And besides, scrambling eggs is not something Foolish can do himself, on account of the eggshells being stupidly small and his hands stupidly big. 

Sometimes, Foolish wishes he were more normal-person sized.

\------

Another time, he almost punts Michael and Michelle into a lake. 

He’s babysitting that day because that day, Ranboo and Tubbo are off doing whatever platonic husbands do on their days off. When the kids get tired of climbing on him like a jungle gym, Foolish produces a ball of slime and lets the kids kick it around the field like a messy kickball. 

Then he makes a mistake. Foolish lets the kids goad him into playing with them. It’s all fun and games at first, and Foolish is careful to avoid trampling them, but accidents are bound to happen when you’re a giant playing kickball against midget children barely larger than the ball itself.

One minute, Foolish is swinging his foot at the ball, and the next moment, there are children in his trajectory, and Foolish  _ panics _ .

He twists around at the last second, so instead of launching Michael and Michelle into the nearby lake, Foolish crashes face-first into the ground. The children are okay, though, and that’s all that matters. Foolish constructs a nice,  _ safe _ playhouse out of wood after that and avoids running around after that.

Foolish is afraid of himself, just a little.

\------

Sometimes, Foolish forgets that he’s built like a two-story house and thus has a much more elevated line of sight.

He’s mining the nether with Jack Manifold, which is nice. They’ve fallen into a comfortable silence now, and he knows they’ve got each other’s backs. They’re both busy with their own tasks, so Foolish doesn’t notice when Jack’s taken his helmet off and left it on the ground until Foolish turns around and promptly flattens it. Stepping on the helmet hurts like stepping on a lego, but the flash of disappointment on Jack’s face hurts more. Foolish apologizes by dropping Jack a couple of gold ingots and Jack forgives him easily.

Still, Foolish wonders what it’s like to be normal and not constantly surrounded by the risk of property damage.

\------

There is a reason why Foolish’s pets tend to be either extremely difficult to crush or straight-up undead. 

He is afraid that he’ll accidentally trample the things he loves. He’s lost friends to time and he’s lost friends to death and he knows that eventually he’ll outlive them all. Foolish refuses to lose the things he loves to his own carelessness.

\------

Then Michael gets lost in the forest and everyone panics.

Foolish is big. His head sticks out over the treeline and he covers three to four blocks in a single step. Foolish is the one who finds Michael first, shivering at the top of a pine tree. 

He plucks Michael off the boughs of the tree and gently brushes snow off of Michael’s head. After he sends a quick message to Tubbo that his son has been found, Foolish tucks Michael into his coat and treks back to Snowchester.

Foolish is big and his friends are small and sometimes that’s okay.


End file.
